DEAR PEOPLE AT WOODSIDE: I HAVE WITNESSED SOME MAJOR ATROCITIES LATELY.
THEY WAY THEY TREAT RUBBER DUCKIES IN EUROPE APPALS ME.
HERE I AM AT TIVOLI GARDENS IN COPENHAGEN, WHERE HUMANS FISH FOR RUBBER DUCKIES FOR PRIZES. THESE DUCKS HAVE NO FREEDOM, AND ARE OBVIOUSLY LOBOTOMIZED, AS I CAN TELL FROM THE METAL PLATES IN THEIR HEADS. I SPENT A WHILE COUNCELLING THESE POOR DUCKS, BUT I THINK THEY ARE BEYOND THE POINT OF EVER BECOMING NORMAL AGAIN. IF THINGS LIKE THIS CONTINUE I MIGHT HAVE TO FLY AWAY FROM EUROPE SOON. LOVE, RUBBER DUCKIE.
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